My computer crashed, burned, bit the dust, and up and died on me, unexpectedly one day last week. There were no warnings that I could detect, it simply muttered a grandiose sigh and all the lights blinked simultaneously, and the computer went dark, forever.
I’m going to be okay, but this was a real blow to my creative flow. My routine was shattered and I was aimless and unfocused the entire week.
This should not, I repeat, should not alter my world, causing it to come to an artistic halt, and I hate to admit this, but it did. I felt adrift without my routine of work and creativity and my office space looked barren and gray. My desire to work ebbed silently away.
The space where my computer sat was empty and my thoughts were scattered, then panicked and finally resigned. It would take an expert to put this to rights and I am clearly no expert. After trouble shooting my computer and praying to the computer magicians to magically make my computer turn back on, load up, no questions asked, it remained, irretrievably, silent. The computer expert duplicated my efforts to reboot the computer and came to the same conclusion… it was dead, to return no more. The information could be restored but the computer itself was gone.
Let me assure you, (lest you were fearful), that I do back up my documents and photos, so I know they weren’t lost, lost..still I felt paralyzed, unable to grasp the fact that my hard-earned, working with ease, creative environment, had been irrevocably altered. I had been in a groove, sitting down to work and create without thinking about the software, the hard drive, the downloads, the wi-fi, my passwords…when suddenly.. I was forced to stop and reevaluate how I work and how I manage my time. Adjustments were going to have to be made.
I am handling things pretty well, emotionally, as you can imagine, I have been shaken, but I will recover as soon as I figure out how to make my new computer work. This of course proves the old adage; progress is always, two steps forward and three steps back.
The silver lining is that I was able to get a new computer that suits my needs just fine. I resisted the urge and the peer pressure to upgrade to something that costs as much as my rent in college. I researched what I needed and walked in and out of the store in 15 minutes with the right computer for me.
I am gratified that things have turned out well and that I am able to get back to work. In the grand scheme of things, this is a small setback and I recognize that fact. I also know that things happen for a reason and for me being off the grid for a week or so reminded me that I love what I do even more so when I was faced with all of it disappearing into a technological abyss.