Lost and Found…

I have to admit that I lost my creativity.. Yup, it’s true. It just up and left me and at first, I didn’t even notice. I just thought I was doing the usual procrastination thing that I do when I don’t want to write. The one where I stall and decide that I need to reorganize the kitchen cabinets, do laundry, or (and this truly reveals the depth of my decline), clean the bathroom, rather than write or take a another photograph.

I stopped carrying my camera and that might have been a moment for reflection or pause, but I missed the warning signs, once again. Soon guilt tripped into the drama and I realized something was, indeed, off kilter. What could it be? Um, right, I haven’t had the urge, the passion, or the slightest interest in indulging in the one aspect of my life, that has saved my life, my art. Instead I invited the shadow dwellers of negativity to stop by and visit and I guess they never left and I never really noticed they’d taken up permanent residence.

Still, a small part of me kept encouraging myself to take a picture, sit at my computer and find my curiosity, wonder, and inspiration. It had to be out there, right?  I used to know just where to look for it. I didn’t ever have to look so far to find it. I didn’t recognize the signs of depletion and exhaustion that ate systematically through my joy and replaced it with a grainy, facsimile of my life. My priorities were all screwed up. It’s no wonder that I had lost my way. I was looking and walking down a totally different path than I had intended. It was time to get back to my world, my life, my spirit and let go of the things that are weighing my soul down. How?

I invited the shadow dwellers of fear and worry to leave and welcomed the bright light of restoration, reaffirmation, and reflection home in their stead. The veil of worry seems to linger longer than the rest, I guess that’s an improvement over my insolent indifference. I found myself walking along the road looking at life passing by and suddenly I stopped and looked back to see what had drawn my eye. It was nothing spectacular, a bumble bee, but the fact was, I saw it. I stopped to observe it and found myself enjoying the wonders of pollination and I realized, I found my creative muse right where I left it, outside, in this very moment. Turns out it wasn’t as far away as I had imagined. 

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4 comments

  1. Healing Soul Streams · July 1, 2015

    I really enjoyed this honest reflection that I certainly can relate to. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • artistspromenade · July 5, 2015

      Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I’m glad you enjoyed the read and could relate to my meanderings. 🙂

      Like

  2. Mom · June 8, 2015

    I too have felt off kilter lately, and yesterday the ebb and flow of the sea at the shore, and the magnificence of the sky above, reminded me, as the bumble bee did you, that we are all a part of the holy whole of it all. Sometimes we pause to reflect or take a break, knowing we will return to balance and creativity, living the yin and yang of all life. Right on, and write on! Love, Mom

    Liked by 1 person

    • artistspromenade · June 8, 2015

      I get it, Mom. Maybe because we spent the whole winter snowbound, this re entry into the blinding and blustery spring has left us off balance. Thanks for the good words of advice and reading
      . 💚

      Like

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