What a great day Mother’s day is. I get gifts, my kids speak kindly to me while still nudging and pushing one another to see who gets to sit in the front seat. There are cards, and hugs and kisses, (at home, in private), and my children look like Angels that floated down from a cloud with silver wings and garlands of lilacs….editors license here.
My sons suggested that I get a report card, “you know Mom, to see if there is anything you could improve on, right?” Nodding numbingly and with little enthusiasm , I agreed to take part in my new Mother’s day evaluation.
What harm could it do? I mean, I’m a pretty darn good Mom. Sure, I loose my cool, curse, yell, lecture, need occasional time outs, “to pull myself together,” and there may have been tears from time to time, I’m not sure whose exactly. Okay, so there have been hiccups along the way but I’m working really hard at being a good mother. For a grade I would say B+.
My sweet sons exchanged glances of pity and listed a few, mind you just a few things that I could improve.
“1. Don’t yell at both of us at the same time cause you seem to get confused and for some reason it makes you madder when we point that out.
2. You do not need to get out of the car when you drop us off at the following locations: school, friend’s houses, sporting events, boats, buses, or when you drop off stuff that we left at home and needed you to deliver cause we Have to have it today. My 10-year-old pipes in, ’cause we just saw you earlier that morning.’
3. Don’t yell out at games, Ever.
4. Don’t call us by our silly nicknames in public.
5. Don’t nag so much about us washing our faces and brushing our teeth and cleaning our rooms, we like it messy.
6. It would be better if our bed times could be later, you do give us baby bed times now.
7. Don’t try to trick us into trying foods we told you we already don’t like. We still don’t like them even with gravy.
8. We should be allowed to spend our saved money anyway we want. It’s been a long time since you were kids and you don’t always know the right stuff to get. Plus you’re a girl.
9. Stop making us pose for your photos everywhere we go, sometimes it’s sooooo embarrassing.
10. Please, please don’t hug/kiss us when we are in public, please refer to number 2 on this list for uncool hugging/kissing locations.”
Other than that, my grade from them was an A+++. Frankly they think I’m the best Mom, Ever. However a more detailed list will be provided should I wish to improve further.
To all the wonderful Mom, Aunts, Grandmothers, Sisters, and Friends who love their children beyond measure, mostly. Enjoy your day!
#mothersday #motherslove #mothersevaluation