The Wonder of Fall..

                  Sometimes I think we are losing our wonder about life. You know, the moments when you are sitting and wondering about how far we are from the stars and the moon? Why huge, murky gray waves arrive in a bluster of wind and churning sea only to return gliding to the sandy shore in a whipped froth of white foam. Pausing breathlessly as it surges once again swirling, ebbing and building into a another magnificent wave in all its thrashing, crashing, splashing glory. 

                   We don’t wonder about these things anymore because, as my ten-year old son put it, “I don’t have to wonder about stuff, Mom. I can Goggle it.” Right… we can Goggle it, instant gratification, no wonder or imagination necessary. No pondering or mulling it around in your mind like the lyrics to a song you are trying to remember.  Just go to your computer and Voila!

                   Life is a mystery filled with wonder, and magic. A mystifying journey, the discovery of life. Googling information about our perplexing planet and the deeper questions that emerge as we grow, is more about reading the brief  synopsis or “facts” about a subject without ever having really experienced the subject first hand. Even worse, recitation of facts becomes the norm and actually having the experience or knowing someone who had a life changing experience, well that’s Passe. We can just read someone else’s words, opinions or facts about any given topic and, BAM!!! Now we too have knowledge about any subject, but not the feeling, not the experience.

                    Is the recitation of knowledge, the hearsay of information better than wonder, adventure or imagination? Aren’t there some things that are unknowable and that adds to the mystery of our existence? Some experiences that you simply must have rather than reading Wikipedia’s definition of joy, happiness, miracles, or love.? Aren’t there just some things in life that simply must be lived in your heart and imagination?

                   Like walking in the woods on a fall day with the leaves sprinkling the forest  in a blaze of golden hues. Maybe stopping for a moment to listen to the stream sweeping the leaves blissfully downwards to the end. Where do the leaves go? What happens when the earth sleeps and hibernates for the winter? What happens when we float down the stream to the end?

                 All questions that take a life time to experience, share and live. The unknowable is what makes our mystical, perplexing, frustrating, mercurial, and extraordinary Universe so magical.  It’s what makes us continue to stare up at the sky and wonder about the moon, the planets, the stars, and the people who have gone and left us behind. It’s what keeps us seeking, searching and asking the age-old question? Why am we here? An existential quest for answers you just won’t find on Google or Wikipedia just in the magic and wonder of our own lives. 

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Cabin Fever

Usually I write when things are crazy. It’s how I cope but with the endless snow and the kids being home more than in school for the month of February, I’m exhausted. As if the snow days weren’t enough, we are coming to the end of February vacation and though I love my sons and would rather spend time with them more than anyone else on the planet, I can’t wait for them to go back to school. To get back to some sort of routine; theirs, and mine.

The snow is higher than my windows and I admit, I may be suffering from cabin fever. Oh sure, I’ve been out and about and working super hard but the white, whiteness of the snow is getting to me. Everywhere my eyes can see, there are mounds and mounds of snow too tall to throw snow on top anymore. Shards of ice dangle precariously from everyone’s house, and businesses, and the lakes and oceans are coated with huge chunks of floating, frozen, frigid white ice, far and wide.

I crave colors, green grass, the smell of fresh flowers, the warmth of the sun, and the water cascading over my head as I wade out to swim in the ocean. This is beginning to sound more like a plea for help or a message in a bottle from some foreign land. I’d laugh but I’m afraid it might sound a bit maniacal.

So hopefully, March will roar in like a lion and I know everyone here on the east coast will dance with fevered merriment and joy when the temperatures hit 50 and the only sounds we hear are the drip drop of snow melting, melting, melting. And our lives return to some semblance of order. I will end by sending the final snow photos for 2015 and hope that the next thing I write will be more optimistic and this winter will be something I talk about with nostalgia and not while gritting my teeth, my white teeth. I know, I’ve gone too far.

The freezing ocean
The freezing ocean
Dock frosting
Dock frosting

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#endless snow #cabin fever

Weather the Season…

I confess that I love Autumn and all its glorious, radiant and vibrant colors. I am less impressed with impending winter.

For the eye of a photographer, the snow is a study in contrasts. I love finding that one burst of color amidst the blanket of white that covers and devours the Northeast. If only I could discover these amazing photos from inside, by the fireplace.

Sure the falling of the first snowflakes fill me with wonder and nostalgia but I didn’t drive or have to go to work when I was young so factoring in travel time, icy roads, and bald tires were not relevant in my kid’s world of snow. Snow days were the gift of the weather Gods. Shoveling was play time not work time.

The raw beauty of the snow moves me but mostly it makes me want to move to a warmer climate. For some reason I feel more productive when the sun is out and the days are longer and warmer.

And yet, I am a four season girl. I like the transition from one season to another, it makes me feel like I am being given a do-over, a clean slate, if you will.

So, it is with reluctance that I welcome the impending winter. I am grateful that we get to the chance to meet again. Even if I have to bundle up for the honor.

Winter Harbor
Winter Harbor
Snowy Lighthouse
Snowy Lighthouse

colors return…

“When you affirm your own rightness in the universe, then you co-operate with other easily and automatically as part of your own nature.

You, being yourself, helps other be themselves. Because you recognize your own uniqueness you will not need to dominate others

nor cringe before them.”   Jane Roberts

Sunset
Sunset

 

Personal Shopper or Santa’s Elf?

I remember as a child thinking that a whole year, seemed like a lifetime of way too many tomorrows. Nowadays, the year seems to whizz by in a flash. Now my sons moan and groan that next week, next month or next year, will never get here fast enough. This year, I feel the exact opposite.

It seems like just yesterday I was running from one store to another searching for the perfect gift, at the last-minute, (don’t judge), and wrapping them in a marathon session while watching Scrooge, any drinking spiked eggnog. I am a procrastinator, and when it comes to Christmas, I don’t really get into a groove until the 25th or the 26th and by then everyone else is Christmas carolled out.

Maybe it’s the flailing panicked dash from store to store getting the “right” gifts, or the canned Christmas Muzak blasting through tin speakers with intermittent sale advertisements peppered with false cheer. Perhaps it’s the commercialism, the artful dance of dazed out consumer and ravenous proprietors that makes me oily and used. I’ve gotten to the point where I am just pushing through the holiday frenzy with barely time to enjoy the Holiday Spirit. Although I may indulge in a few spirits to get me through the throngs of  holiday shoppers who couldn’t be bothered to carve out their shopping time, parsing it out in drips and drabs over the past year, instead of rushing last-minute into the stores waving lists overhead, shouting and sweating in their  numerous Christmas layers. I know I already said I am one of these people, I thought it deserved another mention.

Although I haven’t reached “Humbug” status, the pressure is on to make this Christmas even better than last year. Frankly, I may be creating the problem myself; trying to top those spectacular “WoW” Christmas days when the boys were small and we got to play with the toys on Christmas day. Now it’s gift cards, video games, ipods, kindles, and worse yet, the dreaded, “just money,” requests. No more trucks, or puzzles or remote-controlled helicopters, (that we as parents had to play first, strictly for safety purposes),  But we were included and involved in the Reindeer games, tracking Santa, and making Santa cookies. Instead I have been reduced to becoming my children’s Personal Shopper. Is that why I am so grumpy? 

So, in an attempt to bring Holiday cheer to myself and everyone around me, even if it kills me, and should you also need Holiday cheer, I will post a photo designed to remind me that “Christmas Time is Here” and it’s not just about the gifts!!

And don’t forget, the end of  2013 is looming and the ushering of the 2014th year, is right around the corner. Then we will be bombarded with the 2013th end of the year highlight lists, but I’m getting ahead of myself. I remember when I thought 1999 seemed impossibly far off. 

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to All!!

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