Weather the Season…

I confess that I love Autumn and all its glorious, radiant and vibrant colors. I am less impressed with impending winter.

For the eye of a photographer, the snow is a study in contrasts. I love finding that one burst of color amidst the blanket of white that covers and devours the Northeast. If only I could discover these amazing photos from inside, by the fireplace.

Sure the falling of the first snowflakes fill me with wonder and nostalgia but I didn’t drive or have to go to work when I was young so factoring in travel time, icy roads, and bald tires were not relevant in my kid’s world of snow. Snow days were the gift of the weather Gods. Shoveling was play time not work time.

The raw beauty of the snow moves me but mostly it makes me want to move to a warmer climate. For some reason I feel more productive when the sun is out and the days are longer and warmer.

And yet, I am a four season girl. I like the transition from one season to another, it makes me feel like I am being given a do-over, a clean slate, if you will.

So, it is with reluctance that I welcome the impending winter. I am grateful that we get to the chance to meet again. Even if I have to bundle up for the honor.

Winter Harbor
Winter Harbor
Snowy Lighthouse
Snowy Lighthouse

Evolution…

I began writing this open letter, thinking of one friend. I soon realized that I had been less than a stellar friend to more than just one person, hence this open letter to all. 

Any Open Letter of Apology:

Recently I was thinking about a friend I had growing up. I realized that although I had wonderful memories of this person, I also had a gnawing sense of sadness and regret about how our friendship ended. Our friendship ended because I behaved despicably, disrespectfully and with grave and all-knowing judgment. I felt I should apologize to my friend right away. However, it dawned on me that I owed more than one person a sincere and heartfelt apology for my sometimes outrageous and outlandish behavior years ago.


This is an open letter of apology to that friend and to any and all of my friends that I treated horribly and with disdain. If I betrayed your confidence, gossiped about you, lied about you, was hypocritical or mean-spirited and critical of you, or didn’t defend you when someone else said or did those same things, I am truly and humbly sorry.


If I treated you as if I was better than you, smarter than you, or made you feel small in any way, I am sorry. If I ignored you or tried to manipulate our friendship or another person’s friendship, I am very sorry. If I hurt you, made you sad, mad, scared, betrayed, and dissed and pissed you off to no end, I am truly very sorry.


I don’t say the word “if” to imply that I didn’t do these things and more, only to cover the broad spectrum of people who I may have affected and/or hurt, and those I knowingly impacted with my callous and disrespectful behavior. I have learned from each one of my friends and to those who have chosen to no longer have me as their friend, I respect that too. I am sorry if I treated you as if you were not special or amazing or a child of God who deserved my respect, empathy, sympathy, faithfulness, devotion, trust, kindness, and love.


With Grace, I have learned to become the person I had tried in vain to be back then. I have learned that my disdain, disgrace, and dislike of myself was the catalyst for my inexcusable behavior towards others. I finally learned to treat myself with more compassion, integrity, love and respect. In return, I have learned to treat everyone the same way. For just like me, everyone is trying to figure out how best to navigate their own lives. Your personal journey and choices like mine, belong exclusively to you.


To the people who stood by me as my soul and spirit has been forged and transformed, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I know that I haven’t always made it easy but I love each of you for the gifts and lessons you have bestowed upon me. I am forever in your debt.


Sincerely.

Happy Mother’s Day…

Happy Mother’s Day!

I would like to take this moment to thank my Mom who has been my champion and my tough love coach throughout my life. I learned from her how to stand through a storm and how to be an independent thinking and self-supporting woman. Our, complex and sometimes difficult relationship has evolved into a wonderful friendship, and that my be perhaps, the greatest gift of all.

I also want to thank the friends, sisters, teachers, strangers, and mentors who supported and challenged, pushed and shoved me into the woman I am today. Each friend, whether in my life now or in the past, has given me something valuable and everlasting and I am grateful for the lessons I learned from each of you along the way.

To my friends whose mothers have passed away, I know that today is bittersweet and I share in your sorrow and rejoice in the love that your mother’s shared with you and probably me, when they were here with us. Though they may be no longer with us, their presence is so strong, I know you feel their love and support, strength, and wisdom, through the stratosphere and beyond, because a mother’s love knows no bounds, no end and no beginning, the true definition of everlasting. They are angels you know by name.

To my friends who are not mothers, I hope you have had a peaceful day of reflection over the love you have received from your mothers, aunts, friends, sisters, confidants, and mentors. Imagine all the people who have touched your lives and helped you to stretch your wings and fly.

Finally, I would like to thank my beloved and adored sons, Noah and Jordan. For without them I would not know the motherhood joys of success and the staggering amounts of agonizing moments of self-doubt that consume all mothers, worldwide. They taught me to live what I speak, to show them who I am, faults and all, and to love unconditionally, with abandon and delight, holding nothing back.

I am blessed this Mother’s Day, I know that I didn’t get here alone and that my debt to all the women who have helped mold and shape me, has not been paid. Take heart, I have heard you, learned from you, and I appreciate all that you have done for me. I believe I am becoming the best version of who I was meant to be and I thank each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart.

 

 

 

Done with Snow…

If you are anything like me this winter, YOU ARE DONE WITH SNOW.

In four days I traveled over 100 miles and ran into 4 different, but equally,  hair-raising snowstorms, (6″ and more per storm). The east coast has been blanketed with mounds and mounds of snow as far as the eye can see….crisp, iced covered, snow and dagger like ice cycles  abound. It is difficult to find color in the vast drifts of snow, though I did try.

So far this winter we have shoveled tons of snow, built snow forts, gone ice-skating, sledding, and we dug out of the snow, went skiing, snowboarding, played cards, Clue, Monopoly, (which it is worth noting takes a minimum of 3 hours to play to the end), baked, went out to dig out of the still falling snow, cooked, ate, watched all current and not so current movies, and we dug out of a new snowstorm with a mix of ice and wind, played balloon in a basket, watched the snow fall from inside, braved the elements to go out and dig out of 8″ of “bonus” snow, cleaned off cars, put down melt to combat the constant presence of the ice, drank hot chocolate, wine, (grown ups only), read, and we are still continuing to shovel our way out of the ever-present, unrelenting, omnipresent snow.

My kids have had more snow days than school days, (an exaggeration), and we have spent loads of time together. I did, however, get a chance to take some photos of this record-breaking, back-breaking, snow-laden, never-ending winter.

I hope everyone is enjoying the winter and is keeping the snow bound blues at bay.

Menemsha Frost
Menemsha Frost

Snow Abounds
Snow Abounds